Contrarian Party
Contrarian Party
Diggy's getting into politics! Finally, a politician for the people. Here are
the tenets of Diggy's newfound Contrarian Party:
Forced unschooling - Save the poor kids from the prison known as school.
Turn them into haunted houses, or something else fun.
Zero Covid restrictions - Whereas some countries have gone for the Zero
Covid policy, we'll go for Zero Covid restrictions. Hey, it worked for
Belarus.
Turn Covid testing sites into vitamin D dispenser sites - Self-explanatory
and would do more to actually cure people.
Fuck Off Pfizer Initiative - Other countries have accepted Pfizer with
open arms, we are saying NO to their snake venom and removing all traces of
the vaccine from the country. Hey, maybe a shithole like the US will buy it :D
Burn all ads - That's what it says. No more ads on TV, buses, flats,
anywhere.
Hug the soldiers - Like the Russians if they come here. They will be so
filled with love, their desire to fight will disappear, and they'll go home.
End the draft - And the production of military equipment. No more
fighting, only love.
Produce everything locally - No more Shaynese trash that breaks and no
more environmental destruction from all the shipping stuff back and forth.
Sell all cars - I hear the US likes them. Use the money to buy everyone a
bicycle. Fatties will be forced to lose weight, or they won't be able to get
anywhere. This will prevent heart disease down the road.
2 years breastfeeding - Required for all kids. If the mother can't nurse,
other women's breastmilks are provided free of charge.
Replace soft drinks with apple juice - Still tasty, still cheap, but
actually healthy. First ever country with 0% obesity?
Destroy all hospitals - Since everyone is so healthy, there's no need to
keep them. Except a few to heal the broken bones. Broken hearts don't exist
here, as everyone is full of love.
Destroy all CCTV - Hey, we can make it a game, like
anyone, people will gladly smash the violating devices for free.
Sell all planes - You don't want to go anywhere else, after all.
Destroy all airports and car parks - Nothing to keep there anymore.
Home for everyone - Use the money saved from all the sales. Actually, just
build everyone a real house. There is enough land from the burned prisons,
hospitals, airports and car parks.
Fire all lawyers - There are no conflicts in Lovenia. No ads to bother
people, no COVID slavery, no vaccine damage, no wars, no traffic jams, good
food, health, financial security and happiness.
Destroy all prisons - See above.
End funerals - Eat the dead instead. If you eat someone close to you, they
will be with you forever. That is the best way to glorify them posthumously.
And imagine the amount of saved food, that would otherwise get claimed by
bacteria. We could kill the meat industry and the horrific CAFO with this
policy.
Bury the cemeteries - Since we eat the dead, there's no need for them now.
And we can use the space to place children's playgrounds or something else
fun.
Fire all other politicians - I mean, you've got Diggy, the Benevolent
Dictator For Life. What more do you need?
Install UBI - With so many jobs lost by lawyers, prison workers, doctors
and nurses, car and plane producers, advertisers, morticians etc - there is no
need to pretend that everyone has to work, anymore.
With how many things I've improved, it seems appropriate to do the same to the
country's name. Let's try Lovenia - like Slovenia but with more emphasis on
the love. No entry fee, but an entry feel of love :D